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Echos of the past...

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Aug. 3rd, 2007 | 08:44 am
mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
posted by: williamofoccam in perfecting_self

I've been continuing to think about the different situations with some of my different friends and I've remembered something that I haven't resolved.  While I don't presume the worst of people, I do assume they are assuming the worst of me.  This causes alot of stress for me despite what is actually going on in my friendships.

This attitude I picked up from growing up.  My dad was not concerned about 'keeping up' with the neighbors, but was always concerned about what the neighbors might think about us.  This is not a new discovery as I've talked about this with my wife before.  I thought acknowledging it would help me get past it, but I can see it hasn't.

I'm not sure what to do with that.  I have to have some concern over what other people think about me, but why do I assume the worst in indifferent situations?  Maybe I'm not as happy/comfortable with myself as I think I am?

On other goals; For a hobby I resumed my interest in music.  I've always been a dabbler and never formally trained.  I've been practicing chords on the guitar to condition my fingers and overall hand strength.  It's helping me to learn the fingering.  I think I'll look for some music to work towards.

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Comments {2}

(no subject)

from: antiquepirate
date: Dec. 17th, 2007 07:34 am (UTC)

You assume worse of every situation simply because you are used to thinking the worse of everything including yourself.

You're a loser, a scum, I deem you pathetic. Are you going to sit here and take my trash talk to you?

You aren't happy about yourself, your face, body and probably your penis. Your lack of self-esteem is very damn sad and I don't know to laugh or to cry for your problem.

You hunch your way down and not think the worse of others, yet you worry so much what others think of you. That is letting people push you around effortlessly. You learn to be nice, but being nice isn't enough

True love is being tough on yourself and those you love. You can be nice, but why can't you be strict as well?

Strict and kind is great.

If your life sucks, blame yourself. You bring yourself down to such a lowly level and give your sit to people who didn't even ask for it. In the end people know and discover they start taking advantage of you. Screw your hobby. Peple in there will only take advantage of your talent simply because you can't even demand the best out of yourself.

You horrible life is your choice, but if that is a choice, then why not make a choice to make better with your life? Thinm about it, if you really deserve more in life.

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(no subject)

from: williamofoccam
date: Dec. 19th, 2007 01:43 am (UTC)

Strict is comfortable and I can't say I disagree...except with 'my life sucks'. Identifing and removing conflicting ideas frees me to go after what I want. I'm doing my thing and I can see you're doing yours.

Your post made me laugh. Thanks.

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